Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A few rules about love and marriage

I read this in Tuesdays with Morrie, and I feel that I should share this small part with everyone (or at least the few people who actually read this blog). Mitch, the author, was asking Morrie, his ailing professor about marriage:

Is there some kind of rule if a marriage is going to work?
Morrie smiled. "Things are not that simple, Mitch."
I know.
"Still," he said, "there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
"And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"
Yes?
"Your belief in the
importance of your marriage."
He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.
"Personally," he sighed, his eyes still closed, "I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it."
He ended the subject by quoting the poem he believed in like a prayer: "Love each other or perish."


This really touched my heart. First, he said that things are not as simple as having rules, and I completely agree, which is why I don't believe in saying love is this and that. But there are some guidelines that are true about love. Without these, there's going to be a lot of trouble. With these, it still doesn't mean everything will work out, of course. His "rules" are very good guidelines indeed. I see couples who can't talk openly about their problems in the relationship. I see couples who don't even share common values. They're having so much trouble. (I must note here though, that there are couples who are having so much trouble, can't solve the problems, and still together. The people who are suffering just stubbornly refuse to let go of the relationship. I also don't understand why. Maybe such people like the feeling of pain and being tortured?)

And the belief in the importance of your marriage. That is one thing that seems to be lost among many people now. When we look at certain cultures, marriage and divorce just comes so easily.

If you haven't read Tuesdays with Morrie, do read it. There are many copies of the book in the libraries. It'll get you thinking quite a bit about life.

Need more work experience

I realise that even after 2 internships, I know next to nothing about banking. Today I had two tea appointments with some industry players. And when my supervisor and the industry players talk, I got really lost in their lingo. I found it so hard to ask any questions and I was struggling to take down notes. Whereas whatever the other person said, my supervisor would just take it in his brain.

The difference between 20 years of experience in commodities trading and 20 days in commodities trading.

And it's not just about the knowledge, but the way that my supervisor brought up the topics that we wanted to ask about, how quickly he formulated more questions based on the response. I felt like I was just an observer. I couldn't help much.

I need more experience. I need to be better. I need to think faster. I need more knowledge on banking.

Looks like I don't have much time to play around this last year. Need to brush up on my banking knowledge.

Monday, June 25, 2007

The Haunting of the insurance agents

Insurance agents are haunting Bukit Batok interchange again. I've seen a recent hike in the frequency that they're appearing.

Why did I say haunting? Because they really seem like those 鬼缠身。I hope I'm not offending my friends doing insurance by saying this. I must clarify that not all insurance agents are like that. It's just that I saw such insurance agents.

They'll pester you and refuse to let you go. The way they pounce on the people is just scary. And I've seen not once, not twice, but numerous times when the girls would put their hands on the guys' shoulders to stop them and talk to them. It's almost as if they're trying to seduce the guys.

Luckily I don't look rich and I walk quite fast, so they never came and approach me.

I'm just glad that my own friends who are doing insurance are not like that.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

We took more pics!

Well... Today was particularly sunny, so we took advantage of that and took more pictures!

Rainbow reflections!


More rainbows...


Fire shots are my fav!


But taking these photos are really hard on our eyes...



It's just so glaring!


You can almost get a 2nd degree burn from this one!

Love is?

A friend posted something she read on a forum on her blog. It's a post about what love is and what love is not.

This got me thinking... What IS love? In the post, the person who posted gave some feelings which people would usually mistake for love. And then the person gave some feelings which he/she felt that it's really love. Below is the post that my friend posted:

"Love vs other traits:

All you people who say, "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly! What is love? When we claim that it's love that we have for someone, are we correct? Something to ponder upon... are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest? it isn't love, it's like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right? It isn't love, it's lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off? It isn't love, it's luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there? It isn't love, it's loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants? It isn't love, it's loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? It isn't love, it's low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them? It isn't love, it's pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? It isn't love, it's infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? It isn't love, it's friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of? It isn't love, it's a lie.
are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake? It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad? then it's love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong? Then it's love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? Then it's love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there? Then it's love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are? Then it's love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret? Then it's love.
Would you allow them to leave you , not because they want to but because they have to? Then its love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why? The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE."

It just struck me as being so... one sided? Is love really that painful? Are all those good feelings not love too? Can one even attribute certain feelings what is love or what is not love?

Lust, friendship, like, willing to forgive, proud to show them off... Aren't all these part of love as well? Gladys is my best friend, someone whom I can show everything to, all my strengths and weaknesses. She's someone whom I'm proud to show off to others as well. I'm definitely proud of her. I do pardon her for whatever mistakes she had made because I care for her, because I love her.

But of course, I don't have "racing heart, sweaty palms" just because I see her. Nor do I tell her "every day [she is] the only one [I] think of".

At the same time, I don't find love painful. Does love torture me so? Is it a powerful death of self? If love is really so painful, I don't think I would want love any more. I don't deny that there are sacrifices to be made in love. There are moments of pain as well. But the pain don't last long. What lasts long is love. Agony? Torture? Sorry, but that is not what I'm searching for in life. I think I'm searching more for fulfilment, and love happens to be part of my life. Can one even search for love? I don't think so. I would just say that God has planted Gladys in my life; God has given me the love.

Perhaps love cannot even be attributed to this or that. Love is just... love. It's more than just good feelings or bad feelings. It seems to be more than what the person mentioned what love is, and even what the person mentioned what love is not. It's not even just feelings, but experiences as well. Honestly, I do feel that my love for Gladys has grown as time goes by. Partly because of what we have shared, what we have gone through. If you ask me what love is, what I love about her, or what is the love we share, I seriously don't think I can answer. Or maybe I'll spend a few days just talking about it. Basically, it's just everything: the good of it, the bad of it, what we have shared, what we're going to share.

If there's one thing about love that really stands out, I would say it's commitment. What would love be without commitment? Being attracted to others but staying with the loved one faithfully? That's part of commitment. Commitment is what made us willing to change to ease the pain of the other person. I made changes to myself and Gladys made changes to herself so that there's less pain in this relationship. Commitment is what drives me to want to do better, to create a better future for us, for our future family. Commitment is what allows us to make sacrifices. I'm glad I found someone who believes in commitment in our relationship as well.

I guess what I really felt very strongly about the post is that the person seemed to have made love sound painful. But I really feel that love is not painful. Love is actually good. If love is painful, torturous, death, I wouldn't be in this relationship. There might be moments of pain in love, but overall, love brings to me joy and happiness.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Finally Received My Ring Yesterday!!

WooHOo~! I can finally wear my ring! After the very traumatic experience with Leipo Jewellery at Lucky Plaza that made my ring like some horrible mutilated shit, I finally received the ring of my dreams!

To see some scary pictures of the Leipo ring, pls click here: The Ring from Hell
Fortunately, we got our money and diamond back and took our business to Yuen Tung Gems at Tiong Bahru Industrial Park! Their workmanship totally exceeded our expectations!

For those who want their contact, here it is:

Yuen Tung Gems
Block 1093 Lower Delta Road
#07-09
Tel: 62702278 (ask for Whye Hoe)

Email: yuentunggems@yahoo.com


And here's some wonderful pictures to share!


This one really shows off the workmanship!


Perfect profile view...


The profile view on my finger!


Got the ring on my hand!


One more...


A big flash of fire from the stone!


Rainbow fire!


Mirror shots are my favourite!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Pics of diamond

I didn't even realise how long my previous post was! Anyway, as promised, here's some pics of the diamond:


Saturday, June 16, 2007

I Did It, a.k.a. WE'RE ENGAGED!!

Some of you would have heard by now. Our statuses have "changed". In any case, here's the full story:

For a long long time, Gladys has been eyeing this X-factor diamond on WhiteFlash.com. X-factor is basically a princess-cut diamond with the corners cut off. It's WhiteFlash's own special cut.

In mid to late May, someone started asking about that diamond as well on the pricescope forum (a forum on diamonds that Gladys frequents). So Gladys got all wrecked up and wanted to get the diamond ASAP. At first I told her I might not be able to afford it. At the very least, I'll probably have to wait till mid June when I get my internship pay. She was really desperate and actually emailed WhiteFlash asking them whether they can reserve the diamond for her until mid June, and without consulting me 1st.

Well... Lesley, who's the director of sales replied her and told her that they don't usually do so, but knowing that she's been eyeing this particular diamond for a very long time already (Lesley goes on pricescope as well), so they're willing to make this exception for her.

At first, I was really wondering if I had the cash for the diamond. But I realised that I did have quite some cash in the POEMS account (parked some cash there for government bonds. But now the yield on government bonds are so low, but that's another story). And so... I started thinking...

Well... Gladys always wanted a surprise proposal, with at least the diamond, and video-taping of the proposal. And obviously it won't be easy, since she know that the diamond is coming. So how to make it a surprise? So I had to make use of the fact that she's been the one corresponding with Lesley.

I went to contact WhiteFlash, asking them to help me. At first, I wanted to tell Gladys that I don't have the money to get the diamond, and then ask WhiteFlash to send the diamond to me, so that I can surprise Gladys with the diamond. But Lesley was saying that she'll help me by continuing to put the status as reserved instead of sold and wouldn't tell Gladys that I bought the diamond. If she put it as sold, Gladys would probably be very sad about it.

Oh. For those of you who are wondering how could I prove myself as Gladys' BF for WhiteFlash to sell the diamond to me instead of keeping for for her, I told them that I am Gladys' BF, that I know that she reserved the diamond, and about the special conditions. So unless I was really close to her, I wouldn't have known all these details.

After clearing up on the telegraphic transfer instructions, I finally managed to wire the funds over on 1st June (Fri). Because Texas is 14 hours behind Singapore, they got the funds on the very same day. As according to their policy, they sent out the diamond that very day. They also gave me the Fedex tracking number. It was quite interesting seeing the shipment process. They were really fast too. My mom signed for the package on Monday morning.

During those few days, I started dropping hints that I MIGHT just propose early. After I received the diamond, I even said that I was so excited about the thought of getting the diamond early. On Monday, I even said that I was looking at the cert again. I was really looking at the actual cert, but of course, she thought that I was looking at the cert posted online on the website. She even jokingly asked if I was thinking of proposing with the cert, as in the printed version by printing from the website, because I mentioned before that maybe I'll propose with a picture of the diamond before we get the diamond so that it'll be a surprise.

To see how frustrated she got over those few days, just go here: http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/view.asp?topicID=63254

Anyway, on Wed (6th June), we arranged to meet up with her friend for dinner to talk about some insurance stuff (her friend's working in Prudential), so I suggested we go Esplanade area for some photo-shooting with the new camera we just got on Friday (see earlier post). After dinner, her friend went with us for the photo-shooting.

After some photo-shooting, she asked me for the present I promised her the day before. She was in a bad mood on Tuesday, so I said I'll give her a present on Wednesday. She kept thinking that it would be a photo frame as she said she wanted one for the picture I gave her. She almost wanted to snatch my bag to dig out the present. Luckily, I stopped her. I even said that her friend must video me giving the present before I'll give the present to her. Again, luckily she didn't suspect a thing even though I made such a weird request.

So, first I took out a photo I printed from the website of the diamond, saying that as I said before, to make it a surprise, I would propose with the photo of the diamond first. Of course, Gladys started laughing and said no, thinking it was a silly trick. She herself mentioned before that she wouldn't accept a proposal without the diamond. Then, I said that I even have the certificate. Of course, she thought that I printed the certificate from the website and continued laughing.

Until I took out the AGS lab folder with the cert inside.

She saw the folder and the words on it, and got shocked, because the folder had the words AGS Laboratory embossed in it, so it cannot be something that I made. Even after seeing the cert and me asking her to marry me, all she could blabber was that I cheated her and that I got Lesley to trick me. I took out the diamond, got on my knee and asked her again. Then she could only nod and said a yes before blabbering on about me and Lesley tricking her again.

To see what she said about the proposal: http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/view.asp?topicID=63367

We got her friend to help us take a picture of us:


I'll post some pics of the diamond in a later post.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Our Celebrity Look-alikes!





New camera: Fujifilm S6500fd

We got a new camera! After going to the PC show on Thursday and looking through so many cameras, Gladys decided that she'll want a semi-pro camera after all (instead of the Fujifilm F31fd). So we got the Fujifilm S6500fd, which was such great value for money. Actually, it was precisely because it's such great value for money that Gladys decided to go for it instead of a compact one with much less functions.

http://www.fujifilm.com/products/digital/lineup/s6500fd/index.html

How good is it actually? Well... It's really almost like a DSLR, with mechanical zoom and manual focus (i.e. you turn the rings on the lens to zoom and to adjust the manual focus). Most DSLRs would have another ring for aperture as well. It has a pop-up flash. It has shutter priority, aperture priority, manual mode etc. It has a very good grip. It has 10.7X optical zoom. It allows photo-taking in RAW mode. It comes with a lens hood. It can take objects as close as 1cm in the super macro mode! Basically, it's really loaded with functions. And it only costs $599, with 2Gb xD card, screen protector, adobe elements, tripod and card reader. We swapped the tripod and card reader for a filter, since we already have 2 tripods and we don't really need the card reader. We found the filter more useful as it would protect the lens.

Since I already have a small Casio Exilim, I also felt that it'll be better to have one that can take good photos. And when a small one is needed for convenience, she can always use mine. Furthermore, she also felt that if she's going Australia, she's going to want to take photos of scenery which would be better with the S6500fd. And just as I thought, after playing with the S6500, she has no regrets buying it despite the size. Because it's just so hard to go back to those compact cameras with few functions once you've tried the good cameras with functions allowing you flexibility, and produce good photos.

But she really thought about it for a long time before buying. In the end, we ended up going back on Friday to get it. And on that very night (after meeting her friend whom she got to know due to diamonds knowledge sharing), we took some photos at Clarke Quay. BTW, these were taken at a slower shutter speed, without a tripod, so it's not very clear:




I think we'll be having lots of fun with this camera. Look out for more photos next time!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Feel like giving up

I really feel like giving up everything. I'm just so tired. I haven't even been doing anything for my HYP this week except to go out to Raffles Place to do survey for 1 hour. I'm just so disheartened. Everyday I go to work so early, and reach home so damn late. I've also been wasting so much time. I just don't feel like I have the energy to do anything any more.

Today during work, I didn't do much, because I just didn't feel up to it. Wasted so much time. And I still had to waste a lot of time just waiting and waiting. I just reached back at 11pm, and I'm going out soon. Tmr should be a day of rest, but I'm going to have to rush all the HYP work that I've put aside. I'm even no longer confident of getting the 200 responses. I might just lose my 1st class honours due to this HYP.

I just feel like giving up.