Love is?

A friend posted something she read on a forum on her blog. It's a post about what love is and what love is not.

This got me thinking... What IS love? In the post, the person who posted gave some feelings which people would usually mistake for love. And then the person gave some feelings which he/she felt that it's really love. Below is the post that my friend posted:

"Love vs other traits:

All you people who say, "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly! What is love? When we claim that it's love that we have for someone, are we correct? Something to ponder upon... are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest? it isn't love, it's like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right? It isn't love, it's lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off? It isn't love, it's luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there? It isn't love, it's loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants? It isn't love, it's loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? It isn't love, it's low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them? It isn't love, it's pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? It isn't love, it's infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? It isn't love, it's friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of? It isn't love, it's a lie.
are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake? It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad? then it's love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong? Then it's love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? Then it's love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there? Then it's love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are? Then it's love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret? Then it's love.
Would you allow them to leave you , not because they want to but because they have to? Then its love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why? The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE."

It just struck me as being so... one sided? Is love really that painful? Are all those good feelings not love too? Can one even attribute certain feelings what is love or what is not love?

Lust, friendship, like, willing to forgive, proud to show them off... Aren't all these part of love as well? Gladys is my best friend, someone whom I can show everything to, all my strengths and weaknesses. She's someone whom I'm proud to show off to others as well. I'm definitely proud of her. I do pardon her for whatever mistakes she had made because I care for her, because I love her.

But of course, I don't have "racing heart, sweaty palms" just because I see her. Nor do I tell her "every day [she is] the only one [I] think of".

At the same time, I don't find love painful. Does love torture me so? Is it a powerful death of self? If love is really so painful, I don't think I would want love any more. I don't deny that there are sacrifices to be made in love. There are moments of pain as well. But the pain don't last long. What lasts long is love. Agony? Torture? Sorry, but that is not what I'm searching for in life. I think I'm searching more for fulfilment, and love happens to be part of my life. Can one even search for love? I don't think so. I would just say that God has planted Gladys in my life; God has given me the love.

Perhaps love cannot even be attributed to this or that. Love is just... love. It's more than just good feelings or bad feelings. It seems to be more than what the person mentioned what love is, and even what the person mentioned what love is not. It's not even just feelings, but experiences as well. Honestly, I do feel that my love for Gladys has grown as time goes by. Partly because of what we have shared, what we have gone through. If you ask me what love is, what I love about her, or what is the love we share, I seriously don't think I can answer. Or maybe I'll spend a few days just talking about it. Basically, it's just everything: the good of it, the bad of it, what we have shared, what we're going to share.

If there's one thing about love that really stands out, I would say it's commitment. What would love be without commitment? Being attracted to others but staying with the loved one faithfully? That's part of commitment. Commitment is what made us willing to change to ease the pain of the other person. I made changes to myself and Gladys made changes to herself so that there's less pain in this relationship. Commitment is what drives me to want to do better, to create a better future for us, for our future family. Commitment is what allows us to make sacrifices. I'm glad I found someone who believes in commitment in our relationship as well.

I guess what I really felt very strongly about the post is that the person seemed to have made love sound painful. But I really feel that love is not painful. Love is actually good. If love is painful, torturous, death, I wouldn't be in this relationship. There might be moments of pain in love, but overall, love brings to me joy and happiness.